Disney is the root of all evil….

I am currently residing in a small, poor community in the upper Midwest. Needless to say, there isn’t much to do around here, particularly in the winter. So when a friend asked if I wanted to walk down to the local movie theatre to see a matinee, I agreed. She explained it was going to be an awful movie, a Disney movie. I thought, OK, I am a fan of the so-bad-they-are-good kinda movies. Many of the more recent films for children are chock full of adult humor (ala Shrek et al,), could be mildly amusing. And it’s from Disney, how bad can it be? *shuddering at my own naivety*

So we went to the theater on Saturday for the cheaper matinee. We found our seats just in time, sitting up on the balcony next to the operators booth. No one decided to join us up there, but we didn’t mind one bit. The previews began, some action movies, some other children’s films. Apparently National Treasure was so awful, it was granted a trilogy. Lovely.

The name of the move is Enchanted. The premise is that a fairytale princess is somehow teleported into the real world in search of true love. A plot only Disney may be able to pull off (or not so much). Here is a synopsis: The princess is sitting in her woodland cabin making a dress for herself, with the help of all of the forest animals of course, so that she may look her best when she meets ‘her one true love’. She sings to the animals, they dress her and do her hair. Cut to an evil queen, hell bent on holding on to her kingdom that she does everything she can to keep her son under wraps so that he will never, ever find his ‘one true love’. The two do manage to find each other, through song of course, and fall instantly in love, planning their marriage the next day. The queen disguises herself as a hapless old woman and pushes the maiden into a well….which leads directly into a manhole in the middle of NYC. The princess nearly gets run over and finds her way to a casino, with a castle as an advertisement. She gets taken in by a man and his young daughter who fall for her and all her silly, overly-optimistic ways. The prince falls down the well to find his princess and ends up in the middle of the city. The two continue to search for one another, adjusting to reality. Long story short, obviously they find one another, but the princess has now fallen in love with her caretaker that she no longer wants to go back to the fairytale.

The more I think about this movie, the more it disturbs me, principally in the messages it is sending to young girls. The following are some of the finer points I would like to highlight:

1. The father gives the daughter a book on powerful women in history. They read a passage on Marie Curie, a famous physicist who pioneered work on radioactivity. Unfortunately, she died from exposure to radioactivity. The movie talks briefly about her, and makes a big point that she crazily ‘devoted her whole life to research’ then died for it. The man read it to the little girl who was horrified at the thought. Not a very favorable look on women in science.

2. The princess brings this weird sort of optimism to the family, one that he immediately squashes but adopts it in the end. Her happy go lucky attitude wins out in the end. Promoting the idea that if you keep believing in something, it will come true.

3. The evil queen keeps trying to kill the princess with poisoned apples. Sound familiar? C’mon Disney, seriously.

4. The way that the Princess solves a problem is by either singing or going shopping and getting her hair done. (With what money I don’t know.) If you avoid your problems, they will go away.

5. The movie kept saying over and over, “Nothing is as powerful as true love’s kiss”. Me, I am skeptical of this one. So many questions here.
6. I wonder if young children are going to start jumping down manholes in NYC trying to get into the fairytale. Bet that would be one big lawsuit for Disney.

7. I also wonder who is keeping an eye on these movies. Seems to me that adult movies are more strictly regulated than children’s movies these days. Show some skin and the parent’s get outraged. Look at the sort of messages this movie is sending. I haven’t seen any of the new Disney movies since Mulan. Are they all this horrible? Disney must be spinning in his grave.

9. The princess dropped her slipper at the ball, and the prince put it onto the caretaker’s fiance, for a perfect fit. Again, weaving a little of all the classic Disney stories into this mess of a movie. Is it that hard to be creative? I was not amused.

10. There were quite a few big name stars in the movie (Patrick Dempsey, Susan Sarandon, etc.). None of these seasoned actors had any issues with the storyline? I would feel ashamed to be a part of something like this. Even more ashamed than Tim Curry is of his involvement in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I am glad we were alone on that balcony. All we did was laugh and snicker at the lack of originality of the film. Next time, I’ll think twice of going to the discount movie theatre for a children’s movie, no matter how bored I am.

You ever get that funny feeling….

Do you ever get that funny feeling somewhere in back of your mind that something just isn’t right? Well, seems to be a common theme in my life lately. Either I experience a strange coincidence or a passing comment is made that forces me to think, “Hmmm, something is definitely out of place here.”

(Start humming the tune for the theme song “Which one of these is not like the Other” here.)

 

It’s an everyday occurrence for me, spanning a wide variety of subjects. When I am in a conversation, my mind races to make a connection from the present subject to a previous thought or memory, infinitely linking the two together. The result is me ending up miles away in my own head, half-way enguaged the the conversation. Is this how I learn, how I remember things? By linking them to previous events or memories? Hmm, seems a little backwards to me. Am I just thinking too much about thinking? Is this the definition of adult ADD?

 

I remember seeing a commercial for ADD a long time ago. It was described as something along the lines of the brain portrayed as a television where the channels are constantly changing, random images are shown for a brief second, then another, and another. This kinda hit home for me. I thought, you know what, that does happen to me frequently. Every time I tried to explain it to someone, I can never quite get the right message through. Then again, how could I without the person getting inside my head? Believe me, I am in it enough, it isn’t the greatest place on earth.

 

A deadly combination, ADD and a very very vivid imagination. I wonder if one feeds off the other; considering if the ADD is always changing the channel, then your imagination grabs onto one of those threads and runs with it, making it harder and harder to get back to the center. So you end up taking an alternate route, leading you a bit closer to the center, but you are still not quite there, and now stuck on an alternate path.

 

This is how I picture that train of thought:

 

I guess in a way I am thankful for this mentality, even if I have no control over it.  I’d rather be thinking too much rather than too little. Now if only I can train myself to get into that ‘hyperfocus’ state, life would be much easier.  I’ll keep working on it.

Whenever someone says that they are thinking of nothing, I find that impossible to believe.  How can you be thinking of nothing?  Nothing at all?  I don’t get it.  When I am in a quiet moment and someone asks me what I am thinking about, it evokes a lengthy and disjointed explanation.  I get so far along those ribbons on the maypole that I forgot which thought makes up the pole. Hmmm. Chew on that, it’s delicious.

 

 

Jon Krakauer…

I came across a random trailer in youtube for the following film:

It is appalling that Hollywood hasn’t sunk their claws into this one yet. I think the book came out in 1997, also titled ‘Into the Wild‘. An amazing read, highly recommended! The book explains the journey of a rich boy from Georgia whom gives away everything he owns on an expedition to Alaska. The book is written from piecing together his journey west, then north from people he ran into along the way. He hit some famous areas, like the campgrounds out in Sun City and a few others. I don’t want to go into detail about the story (I don’t remember everything all that clearly) but it is a good venture into non-fiction if you are feeling so inclined. The lineup in the movie looks great, Katherine Keener (Maxine from Being John Malkovich) and Jena Malone (Saved, Stepmom), two of my favorite actresses. Of course the lead is a cutie, but Vince Vaughan is in a large supporting role, and I have trouble taking him very seriously. We’ll see I guess. I may even go to the movie theatre to see it, a luxury I rarely experience….that is if we are lucky enough to get it to play in our small theatre.

The author is Jon Krakauer, the first book I read by him really blew me away. The title is ‘Under the Banner of Heaven‘. It is a chronicle of the history of Mormonism in a modern day context based on the murder of sister by her two brothers whom transferred to the fundamentalist LDS church from the popular, more mainstream LDS church.

Let’s start at the ordination of Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. Apparently, a heavenly body instructed him to go into the woods where he found ‘the golden pamphlets’ in a wooded hillside. Then, immediately after he read them, they mysteriously disappeared. There is an event every year in the small town in upstate NY, Palymra, where the pamphlets were found. I have a friend who lives nearby, and I accidentally got caught in the middle of it when I was on my way to visit her. It was like I was in the middle of an episode of the Twilight Zone. Many many similarly dressed women and men drifting in a sea of toe-headed children. Reminds me of driving through Utah. I passed many billboards advertising 6, 7, and 8 bedroom homes. The drastic rate of population growth is simply astonishing.

I digress. The book chronicles the westward movement of the Mormon church as they were forced out of many eastern states. Members of the Mormon church faced a number of travesties in spreading their religion. Frequently, the government stepped in to settle or to dispel the startup organizations. Perhaps more appalling was their treatment of the native Americans. Any tribe within the path of the Mormon party were destroyed. I recall a few questionable extinctions of entire tribes in the vincinity of the Mormon caravan.

The church grew through the realization of self-proclaimed prophets. These prophets claimed that God spoke to them, and clarified their function on Earth. Even to this day, more and more prophets are speaking up. In the book, the two brothers were exactly that….self-proclaimed. They each heard God instruct them in a dream to kill their sister-in-law and her 2 year-old daughter. And this remains their defense to this day.  I won’t get into the details, but READ this book!

Since writing this post, I found out that Eddie Vedder is supplying the entire soundtrack for this movie.

Cheers!

A Meeting of the Minds….

So….apparently I am a lazy blogger. My apologies. I will probably never be a consistent blogger, so get used to it. Of course I would love to post vast quantities of stimulating information on a daily basis. But, alas, my life is pretty hectic and I will post when I can or when I find something I need to get out of my head.

This week had been pretty busy for me. I relocated to school, way way way up north. I moved into my cottage over the weekend and started classes on Tuesday. I only attended the first of two lecture courses then left for a conference with my advisor on Thursday. Sure, I have been to conferences before, but this was a very small meeting of a few very interested folks.

I tend to agree with the 5/95 rule: Within any given organization, there is roughly 5% of the folks doing 95% of the work. Consider this regional organization the 5% of the national group. There were about 30 people from various backgrounds, all focused on one goal: the conservation of herps in the midwest. There were students, from high school to post-doc, professors, federal and state agency employees, hobbyists, and the frog huggers were out in numbers this year. It is always great to have some ‘common folks’ to chime in at the meetings to bring us egghead researchers back to the ground. We tend to get caught up in prospective research and can run far on our leash with management recommendations. I’d say the hobbyists and the herp huggers drastically improved the effectiveness of the meeting. A few of the researchers, and this was evident, presented canned talks that they have given before. Although they were relevant and interesting, not too stimulating. Similarly, state and federal employees gave drab presentations on what their state or region is involved in.

Then this highschooler from a small town in Missouri got up in front of the group. He gave an amazing presentation, lots of pictures and relevant figures, and even props. He presented information on something that few of us self-proclaimed herpers had never heard about: turtle races. For a turtle lover and animal rights activist, appalling on many fronts. Click here for a more in depth article on turtle racing.

I gathered it is akin to the rattlesnake round-up in many ways, save for the instant death aspect. A number of different species are used, even some endangered species. The turtles are collected from the local area then dumped at the nearest piece of land at the end of the races. But hey, all turtles are the same right? And let’s not even get into the inhumane conditions. I’d like to shove these coordinators into a box truck with no food or water, put them in the sun in the middle of July, then shove them into an arena and watch them struggle to find shade. Just disgusting.

This young man had it all together. A number of people stood up after his talk and expressed their amazement at his presentation. I’d say he already has his PhD in the bag. I think most of us were dumbfounded that we had never heard of such a travesty. Just goes to show you, passionate people can do a lot more for herp conservation than those of us who have (or are trying to) made a ‘career’ out of it.

It was so nice to be in a room with so many like-minded individuals. Persons genuinely interested in working together for the greater good. I have been to a few scientific meetings over the years and most of them are just teaming with competitive scientists, unwilling to share their currency: novel research ideas. In the research community I just left, meetings were not a place to find potential collaborators or to gain an outside opinion on some research. They were places to steal ideas to put into a proposal to obtain grant money faster than the persons with the original idea. And who suffers in this scenario? The organism(s) of concern of course. Maybe I am still a little too bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in this discipline, but I still believe in the effectiveness of few individuals.

The conference was very inspiring, and I think I meet a couple people I will ask to collaborate on my project….once I figure out all the details that is. I also got to know my advisor very well on our long delay at the airport. We are going to get along wonderfully I think. Sort of odd really….I have this notion that many of the experiences and knowledge I have gained through the years is unique to me. Somehow, her and I have read many of the same books, liked a lot of the same music, been to many of the same places, and even had the same political views on a number of issues. I am still trying to figure out something we absolutely disagree on. It was a bit eerie actually, in a good sort of way.

Now, back to pretty boring and not-so-challenging classes, gathering articles from the library, and getting to know my colleagues.

I’ll post again soon…..maybe.

Better People…

Last Tuesday at the House of Blues, three friends and I laid down a ten dollar bill to experience this in person:

In a nutshell, fucking brilliant. I have seen him four times now: first at his American debut at the 2004 Telluride Bluegrass Festival, then at the El Rey Theatre in California in 2005, next at the Belly Up Tavern in CA in 2006, and then in Cleveland last week. The show at Telluride blew everyone away. It was on day 4 of a 5 day music festival. Needless to say, most people were feeling a little run down from the all night jams. Much of the audience were sitting on their tarps and blankets for the jamgrass band that preceded Rudd. I was working in the festival tent, just shy of the stage. I watched him take the stage while mindlessly folding some of the t-shirts.

His assistant set up his apparatus: a small platform with 4 dijis, a slide guitar, a wood box, a bass drum, cymbals, and wind chimes all within reach of his small stool. Just like most of the others, I had never heard of him before and was quite intrigued by his set-up. I watched him intently as he took the stage, a short man with a dirty, hand-me down shirt, an outgrown blonde mohawk, sun kissed skin, and a huge smile (my kind of guy). First he thanked us all for inviting him, and he expressed his excitement at playing in the US. He said he enjoyed much of the concert so far and made many friends while here.

And then he sat down. The crows chattered anxiously, everyone feeling that they were on the edge of something unique. He began with the unassuming slide guitar, then burst into about a 20 minute set including the dijis and the bass drum. I don’t think there was a single person sitting down after that first song was over. We had quite the rush at the sales tent as everyone flew in to purchase both of his CDs and paraphernalia. I think we were sold out halfway through his set. Naturally, I grabbed his two CDs for myself and was not at all disappointed.

Here is a little taste of the diji jam:

After his mind-blowing set, Rudd stood next to the tent and patiently greeted and chatted up a long line of new fans. I had to ditch my place and get in that line, no way I was passing up this opportunity. As the next band took the stage Rudd continued spending at least five minutes with each person in line. I finally got my chance, nervously hugging him and thanking him for such a wonderful performance, bringing every festivitarian back onto their feet. He was appreciative and we talked about the music, he asked where I was from what I did. Rudd was impressed with my career and he wished me the best of luck in spreading the message.

Everyone knew they had experienced something special. That high that comes from live music had numbed the crowd a bit over four days. When Rudd took the stage, he took us right back up to the level of our initial shock. Each time I see him live I am taken back to this wonderful memory. I am so glad I could share it with some of my favorite people. Perhaps it is my sentimentality that raises him so high on a pedestal; nonetheless, I can’t sing his praises high enough. Go see him! You won’t be disappointed.

Strange Brew: Thoughts on coming home…

1.  Your parents sell your childhood home in an effort to downsize.

2.  You need to call and ask for directions home.

3.  Home feels like a hotel.

4.  You jockey for space with a two-year old in ‘your’ room.

5.  Work and socializing is scheduled around the sleep habits of said munchkin.

6.  Sister home for a holiday = free babysitter at your mercy.

7.  Again, teaching the parents how to send an email with a photo attachment (as you do each time you are home).

8.  For that matter, being the family’s personal geek squad. (Can you take a look at my computer…it’s running really slowly?…..ummm, the problem here is that you own a windows product…..lucky for you, there is an easy fix- get a Mac.)

9.  Getting lost everywhere you go in this new area.

10.  Bar-hopping with old friends and running into random people from undergrad. (Strange coming from a school that was only 900 students)

11.  Combing through your possessions, deciding what you can fit in your car.

12.  Constantly feeling cold when the temperature dips below 85.

13.  Trying to talk about musical bands to people is like speaking Arabic to a bunch of drunk Irish Catholics.

14.  Desperately searching for non-domestic beer.

15.  Dodging the inevitable questions, “How is you thesis coming along?” or “Where do you work now?” or “When are you going to settle down?” or “Where’s you boyfriend?” or “Which celebrities did you see in California?”

16.   Wearing and washing the same clothes because you are too lazy to dig through your stuff for more.

17.  Haggling with car dealers over a new car because yours is on its last leg. (grrr.)

18.  Enjoying rain and thunderstorms once again.

19.  Venturing into the city for some amazing (and cheap) concerts.

20.  Realizing this drab, simple place has more heart than CA ever will.

21.  Introducing your family to the joys of the iPod and podcasts.

22.  Whining when the weather forces you to wear real shoes after 2 years straight in sandals.

23.  Visiting with all your friends that have procreated since your last visit, and trying to remember all the baby names.

24.  Attempting to convince people that watching TV is not a social activity.

…more to come.

The Word of the Day

Todays word of the day is ‘douchebag’ (doo-sh-ba-ag). Anytime you hear it or use it, be sure to break into an uninterrupted howl (ala The Pee-Wee Herman Show). Meckalecka hi, mecka hiney hoe.

Recently this has become a favorite word of mine, mostly used for berating lousy drivers (or pretty much anyone driving in CA for that matter). In the safety of my vehicle, it is used to thank those kind enough not to use their indicator when changing lanes, those whom appreciate traveling a whopping 40 mph when merging onto a 80 mph freeway, drivers preferring to speed up to get in front of you and slamming on the brakes rather than slowing down, or for forcing me to listen to what they call music. I do not have road rage, but letting others know how you feel is important for good communication skills. Sometimes people need a little guidance.  At least thats what I learned in all these years of school.
With this in mind, I was curious as to the origin of this slang term. When you think about it, I doubt many people have actually seen a bag of douche, let alone many men, to which the word is most often applied. What is douche?  It is …… meant to cleanse that crazy vagina, something the body does naturally.  It is also unhealthy, and apparently addictive (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=12514446&dopt=Abstract).

Apparently the first to use the term as a descriptive word is the Toronto Star (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eat-the-press/2006/08/14/toronto-star-des_e_27202.html). Not surprisingly it has already been used to describe Keith Ollberman and every left-wingers favorite advocate, Pat Robertson (http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/11/11/12613/798).  He gives me the creeps, the way he hunches over, talks with that little glint in his eye, making you feel all warm and fuzzy until you actually listen to the words coming out of his mouth.  There is even a “Douchebag Hall of Fame” honoring many of those contributing greatly to our society (http://douchebaghalloffame.blogspot.com/).

I guess I find it funny mostly because douche is generally peddled as something vital, something that can help women everywhere.  In this sense, douchebag would be a compliment.  But, realizing that it is unhealthy, unnecessary, and causes more harm then good….brilliant.  Myself, I plan on integrating it whenever possible.

Be Still My Heart…

I recently found this on the blog of a pretty intriguing scientist at www.scienceandsupermodels.com. All of his posts are witty and intuitive, describing various aspects of a geeky life. His analysis of the geeky girl is dead on. Enjoy!

The Mens Guide To Dating Geek Girls V 1.0

 

Let’s face it, sometimes we get tired of dating models. Sure, they clean up well but it gets annoying having to tell her she’s beautiful a hundred times a day and the cocaine bill gets expensive. You might think you have no hope of getting an attractive low-maintenance geek girl and I am inclined to agree ( that you can’t anyway ) but I would rather light a candle than curse your darkness, so here are my tips to try and help. I present to you Version 1.0 of The Mens Guide To Dating A Geek Girl.

Getting Your First Geek Girl

So you’ve seen a geek girl. She’s got the Tina Fey glasses on and the hair is thrown up in a mess, she’s wearing clothes just frumpy enough you can’t tell what kind of body she has. Trust me, my friends, if she’s like any geek girl I have ever known, she has a better body than Eva Longoria. She just doesn’t need to flaunt it because Pete Yorn would never date Eva Longoria anyway. Now you just have to talk to her.

 

1. Be direct.

No matter what she looks like, geek girls are no different than geek guys. She will likely seem a little aloof, maybe even defensive. She is just baffled that you can’t see inside her to the geek she is and wonders if this is a prank.

2. Open with something memorable.

“No way a hot girl like you has such mad skillz,” is worth a shot.

Alternate: “If I ever get to redesign keyboards I will put U and I together.” She will likely respond that they actually are already together on keyboards, which means you let her be smarter than you and she will find your clumsy pick-up attempt charming. Nicely done.

3. Ask which Yahoo chat room is her favorite.

If the answer is anything other than “I don’t go into Yahoo chat rooms” find a different geek girl. Geek girls don’t hang out in Yahoo chat rooms so kick this twink to the curb. IRC is okay.

4. Learn to play Half-Life.

I know it’s old. Chicks still play it. Science has no answer for that.

5. Stevie “Killcreek” Case comparisons can never be wrong.

Geek girls know their gaming history.

6. Do not ask her if she prefers Python because it’s a more “feminine” language.

She probably does. But it’s a bad idea to say it.

The Geek Girl Relationship

Some men want to be teachers. They like feeling worldly and prefer a companion who sits childlike and listens to their stories while wanting their women to have a history that would make the Virgin Mary feel promiscuous. If so, a geek girl is not for you. Geek girls, like geek guys, take a while to open up but, when they do, they are total hellcats. This is mostly because they are well-read and your geek girl trusts you and she thinks relationships should be fun but you, my friend, are not her first relationship. This does not make her a whore but it probably does mean you can call her one during sex without suffering physical harm. That said, to keep a geek girl truly happy you should also note the following:

1. Figure out which Star Wars character you are.

Let’s face it, she wants either Han or Luke. If she wants one, and you are the other, exit the airlock quickly. You’re not Don Quixote.

Alternate: However, a well-timed “You truly belong here with us among the clouds” Lando Calrissian impression will enhance any geek relationship. If you happen to surprise her with that in front of her geek friends and they laugh, you are totally going to hit that.

2. She had a life before she met you.

Because she is a geek girl, she is on the internet. Trust me, if she is funny and smart, she has been propositioned online more than Marilyn Monroe at a Kennedy luncheon. She may keep a few dorks around who say nice things and pump up her ego, but it’s okay to trust her. She’s with the person she wants to be with.

3. There is a significant chance she is smarter than you.

She’s not going to flaunt it but if you try to patronize her and her eyes narrow to slits that look like something Cylons fire laser beams out of, believe me, they will become slits firing Cylon laser beams if you don’t stop your sentence and run quickly from the room, waving your arms and yelling “Danger, Wil Robinson! Danger!” or something else to make her laugh. Do it quickly. The downside to having a geek girl smarter than you is she has figured out your weaknesses and can make you cry.

Keeping Your Geek Girl

1. You still have to dress the part.

A. Keep it simple. Just because she’s a geek girl doesn’t mean she will tolerate you wearing a Pokemon shirt with barbecue sauce on it from dinner three nights ago. Jeans that fit and a shirt are all you need for hanging out. You want to look like you haven’t put any thought into it but make sure you have.

B. Do not wear a sports jersey. Unless you are a player on the Pittsburgh Penguins.

2. She wants you to respect her smarts but she has been told how intelligent she is all her life.

A. She’s still a woman. If you don’t think she’s sexy, why are you hanging out with her? Switching this on and off is key. Getting all neanderthal when she’s up to her eyeballs in Python is a bad idea. But occasionally grabbing her by a belt loop as she walks by and pulling her into your lap for a quick kiss on the neck is going to pay geek dividends later.

B. Do not tell her she’s cute. 7 out of 10 geek girls are cute – and they are sick of hearing it. Sometimes they want to be beautiful, exotic or drop-dead gorgeous. She owns a little black dress for a reason, my friend, and that reason is because it does not radiate ‘cute.’

3. Sometimes you should treat her like she’s a guy.

Jumping up to take a box away from her is likely to get you a snippy comment such as “Thanks, but I’ve been genetically engineered to lift things that weigh five pounds.” If she is carrying a refrigerator, use your judgment. Opening doors is always okay.

In Conclusion

I hope this small effort on the part of science to add to your geek seduction repertoire finds you in a happy place with a geek girl in 1/nth time it took me to learn this sage wisdom the hard way. This list is by no means comprehensive. Should you feel I have omitted any key strategies. let me know for Version 2.0. And geek girls, if you have any advice, try and help the fellas out.